It all starts with consent
Talk before, not during. What each of you wants, what you're curious to try, and what's completely off limits. A short list of "yes", "maybe" and "no" helps a lot.
A safe word. A simple word that stops everything at once, no questions asked. Agree on a signal without words too, in case it's hard to speak.
Consent can be withdrawn at any moment. Even in the middle, even if you agreed otherwise before. That applies to both of you.
How to start with a new partner
Start with a long chat and a first meeting in a public place, without play. The first few times, start soft and build up gradually, and talk after each meeting about what was good and what less so.
Anyone who suggests skipping the safe word, pushes past limits or rushes to a private place - that's a sign to stop.
Safety and health
- First meeting in a public place. A café or a bar, and only later, if you both want, somewhere private.
- Tell a friend where you are and with whom, and agree on a short message when all is well.
- Get there and back on your own, so you can leave at any moment.
- Condoms, always. They are the main protection against STIs - carry your own, not only the other side. If you have several partners, get tested regularly.
- Discretion goes both ways. Don't send identifying photos before you trust the other person, and protect their privacy as you would want yours protected.
- Trust your gut. If something in the chat or the meeting doesn't feel right - pressure, stories that don't add up, a request for money - leave. No explanation needed.
Questions about Domination games
We're new to this. How do we start?
Read, talk, and start slowly. Write in your profile that you're new and what interests you - many members prefer a partner who says so honestly.
What is a safe word?
An agreed word that stops the play at once. Pick a word that won't be said by accident during play, and when it's said - stop, no argument.
Does BDSM always involve pain?
No. Dominance can be entirely psychological - leading, instructions, role play. You decide together what's in and what's out.
Does dating on SexPal stay discreet?
Yes. You appear under a nickname you choose, and your email address is never shown to any member. You can mark photos as private and show them only to people you approve, on request. Your card statement shows a neutral name, topishare, and its website is generic - no mention of SexPal or of dating.